Hoping

Month 8.

No beginning Oct baby. My period showed up at 28 days on the dot. Maybe the vitex IS regulating my period, that's a little glimmer of hope, right? I'm trying to be positive. It came a week early. So, that DOES mean that if we were to conceive this month, I would still get to squeak in at the end of October with my DD. October 28th...which means my #2 would probably be an early November baby. I doubt he/she would be early! Which is fine. I just want a healthy, sweet baby. Waiting is hard. Trying and not catching the egg is hard. This TTC business is HARD. I'm trying SO hard to keep my head up, smile, be happy. I'm trying NOT to take my frustrations out on anyone. I can only hope I am succeeding. I hope.

Warning *TMI* coming up!!!

My writing has taken a nosedive. I got food poisoning the second week of January. That had me puking for a day, and then running to the bathroom with horrible diarrhea for the next 7 days. IT SUCKED BAD. It was SO HORRIBLE. I hope I never get food poisoning again, it was the worst week ever.  My hemorrhoid that Stinkbug gave to me was NOT HAPPY. My intestine issues pissed it off and it took its anger out on my. I was SO CLOSE to buying some Prep H, but I was too embarrassed haha.

So, yeah, writing, at a total standstill. Sucks. I have NO inspiration, like, AT ALL. Pisses me off. I want to finish my book. Even if it might suck. BUT HEY! Once I get it done, I am going to let it "sit" for a little while, then go back and read it and edit it and make some changes. I know not all of it is SOLID, but man, I really think quiet a bit of it is.

Stinkbug has been really learning lately. He's taken it upon himself to learn some letters!!! He knows O, Q, S, X, T, B, W!!! He is SO smart its crazy! He LOVES puzzles and can put a 12 piece puzzle together BY HIMSELF! He started with a tractor/farm one, and I recently got him a new one with animals driving vehicles. He put it together by himself after one run through with me. Its amazing and scary at the same time! I really try hard to keep his environment as enriched as I can for maximum learning, but what if I am not giving him challenging enough things? I worry! I guess I can only do the best I can though. I got him a new drawing pad and some new books, he is REALLY into all that still. My little book worm!!!

New words he's saying, worm, school bus, police car, taxi., train (then he says choochoo haha), catfish, bad cat (ahahaha), and he's adding "Mine/My" in front of things, like "Mine boo, mine car, mine bus" LOL cracks me up. He also says "tractors"! He really loves tractors right now, its really cute. Oh I love my sweet little Stinkbug!! We also had a successful PEE IN THE POTTY!!!! He did it ALL BY HIMSELF! He didn't want me in there either haha, not until he had peed, then of course he wanted me to see it. LMAO! I was very proud of him and can't wait for warmer weather so we can run around bottomless more and get him potty trained better. I really think he is almost ready! That makes me excited. My little man is growing up. A bittersweet feeling for sure! I love seeing all the new things he does, but I also miss him as a baby!!

Still no snow, so far this winter is sucking for snow. All it can produce is cold ass wind and a soggy ground. Grrrr. I bought Stinkbug a SNOW SUIT! He needs to wear it dammit lol. That shit was $26 bucks for JUST the bibs! He's gonna be out of 2T before it even snows. *sigh* At least I can start shopping for summer/spring clothing! I LOVE SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES! I already got him new aviators lol. Those sunglasses are TOO STINKING CUTE! He always gets compliments on them. lol

Welp, thats all for now!

A second post for today ! Shocking !

Since my two year old has my tablet confiscated I am going to write another post! He is watching old cartoons on netflix so hubs can play COD (Call of Duty)...which is fine, but it leaves me without my writing thing. lol Thing as in tablet! Lately I have been on fire with inspiration to finish my book, which CAN be a task when you are trying to keep a toddler from getting into disasters, clean, cook, do domestic crap...and of course, work part time. I am at 43xxx words, a little over half way done! Who knows if my book will be worthy of publishing, but this is the MOST I have ever written or come CLOSE to finishing a story. Writing has always been a passion of mine, I wrote stories when I was a child. I have kept a diary since I was 10 years old...and now I am hoping to become a published author in the next few years. HOPE is the key word here. I don't know if it will ever happen, I might just get rejection after rejection, BUT, I'll never know if I don't try. Worst that can happen is I have to self publish, which nowadays really ISN'T that bad. There is a whole new network of blogs and online author groups who self publish and are successful at it. SO I have hope, even if it just means I get to have a copy of my OWN book sitting on my shelf. Or two copies, or three...okay maybe ten. Writing is one of my true loves. It acts like one too, a love that is. It gets me mad, makes me want it, takes me to bed late, I hate it, I miss it, and best of all, I can't live without it. I have went from 15xxx puny words in the beginning of November 2014 to what I have now. NANOWRIMO really helped me this year, even though I didn't make it to the 50xxx words to get my badge for this year...it kick started me and my fingers haven't stopped typing since. Never before have I been able to focus on ONE story, usually I skip around and thats why NOTHING ever gets finished. I also became part of a local writers group and they have helped me immensely, even if it was just to keep me going. It has been inspirational! I am giving my pre-pre-pre-pre beta reader story to a girl in that group for review, I really think I am ready for some feedback. I am hoping it won't be too scary, I told her to be gentle, I still have to finish this thing. Ha.

After the Holidays

Running around like a crazy person is over and done with! Holidays are over for awhile! Even thought I LOVE them, they always bring drama and some sort of family crisis, so I am never sad to see them go. Half the time I want to kick their ass out the door before they even get started. Too bad that's basically impossible! Two things:

 1. Not pregnant. AF came 2 days early and pissed me off. Yay.
 2. I have hope for this month! Even if it IS month 7 trying, even if it IS cold as freak outside and that makes me not in the mood...I will try my darndest to get the "right" time... Come oooon baby dust!

    I realized that IF we were to get lucky this month, my due date (DD) would be Oct 4th. That's right before my sons (Oct 11th). I think that would be fun, having two pumpkin babies :) If that DOES happen I am so painting their butts like pumpkins and taking a photo (or 100) of them!! I just really need to keep positive about all this. That's what I keep repeating to myself, stay positive! It can be hard when many of my friends I was pregnant with the first time around are now closing in on their #2's due date...I have three baby showers in the next 2 months...I am very happy for them, but at the same time I am my own worst green eyed monster. I can't help it. I don't think anyone can who keeps hoping and wishing it was THEM pregnant too. Ah well, I don't believe anyone who says its NOT hard to be surrounded by prego chicks when you want to be too. lol Lets hope I can have a big Valentines Day reveal! Fingers crossed~